We were married for 32 years. We did everything together. We didn’t have children together, and I didn’t work, so my husband was my whole world. When I lost him during COVID, I lost myself. The world shut down. I had no one to help me through the pain and loss. I went months crying – day after day it was the same. There was no ‘getting back to the gym or going to lunch with friends’ – we were in lockdown and I was in my home, alone….
My husband was older than me, but I’ll tell you something – he ran circles around this girl! Our lives were full – we danced, skied, water skied, camped and went fishing. When he retired we bought 200 acres of land and we’d watch the deer and turkeys and bears. We were very social, always at parties, dances and dinners.
And then all of a sudden, I was alone. Completely alone.
I thought about seeing a counsellor. I called a few times and left my name and number, but I never heard back. And so I decided that I had to find a way to help myself. I googled my exact situation – ‘I have lost my husband. I am feeling lost. How do I get on with my life?’Â And ‘The Life List’ came back in the search results.
I called Barnes and Noble bookstore, and they said they could get ‘The Life List’ in for me. I know for a fact that they have ordered more copies now, because I have a picture of ‘The Life List’ on my phone, and when I meet someone going through something, I show them a picture of your book and tell them to go and buy it. The other day I met another woman who just lost her husband, I said – ‘Please go buy yourself this book. You might not be ready right now, but sit down and read it and take time for yourself. Open yourself up to new ideas.’
‘The Life List‘ is life-changing – it really is. Thank you so much for writing your own story.
I have created a long Life List and I’m ticking off my goals:
- I have sold our 3 houses and moved into a community of over 55-year-olds. But I feel too young for it! I still want to be active. I have taken steps to make changes in the community. I went to a Committee meeting and said: ‘Let’s do some fun things, not just ‘older’ activities!’ I presented an idea for a cross-country ski trip, and they said ‘Yes – but you have to head it up’. I already have people signed up!
- On a daily basis, I take great care of my skin – I’m not going down without a fight!
- I was called in the middle of the night by a music agent in Florida asking me to attend the funeral of a musician my husband and I used to follow around to dance halls. I’m in New York. I don’t fly! But I said – ‘Yes, I will!’. I hung up the phone and thought – ‘What am I doing? I don’t know how to do this!’Â But a friend helped me book the flight. I rented a car and drove to the hotel. On my own. I stepped out of my safety zone. It was brave. I felt liberated.
- I’ve joined a group of women who play cards – I’m expanding my social circle.
- I’ve signed up for a ‘ladies game night’ – I don’t know what it is, but I’m going to try it at least once.
- The other day I drove past a ski shop and I thought, ‘well, why not?’ I went into the store and bought myself downhill skis, cross-country skis, and snow boots. I’m going skiing!
- I took an Uber! If I can do it, you can do it.
Just like you say in ‘The Life List’ – I’ve started saying ‘Yes’ to things I would normally say ‘No’ to, and I’ve started saying No as well.
I’m not going to wait to live. When we get old, we’re going to have a lot of time to sit on the couch. Let’s not sit on that couch before our time. I just want to live. There are so many opportunities out there.
My Go Big Goal is to rent a cabin this summer for a week in a remote area so I can fish. I want peace and quiet and a fire pit.
I am truly grateful that you wrote this book for us to learn from and help us. It helped me. I want everyone to know about The Life List.
